| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|10:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | All falls down- Kanye West | ] |
So i've been really busy lately. Hockinson is driving me insane. I have so much shit to do, with flags, and uniforms. The fuckin fabric hasn't even come. Daeryck found out that his mom has breast cancer, bless her, so he left for cali for a month. So here I was, having a partner, being cool, and now i'm on my own. Fuck. I started school this week, it's going fine. THat's my priority right now. I'm also starting with New Era. I'm on weapon, which is going to be great. By the end of the season, i'll be fine for drum corps hopefully.
Lame as it is, I was watching Chaotic on MTV last night. I missed out on the last episode when Britney and Kevin got married, and I got to watch it for the first time. It made me realize what I want. Romina and I went out to 23rd street on my birthday on tuesday, and we talked about relationships. She was dating a guy, just to date him. He was moving too fast with her, she didn't love him anymore, but he wouldn't let her go. That scared me. I don't even want someone like that. When something is over its over. The love is all gone, and there is nothing left to be shared. I want to be in love. I want to find that perfect person for me. I don't want just sex, I want something that I could keep forever. Again, being lame.... I was watching them get married, and holy shit she looked gorgeous. THe way they looked at eachother, you could tell it was real. I want that. I want to look at someone and feel.......... just that. I want to feel nothing. I guess that's all. I am happy though. With all of the stress (and believe me there is a lot right now), I know I can look forward to something, even though I can't find it at the moment. I'm happy. I'm happy with the friends I have left. I'm happy for my girls that I teach. I'm happy for a lot of things. I am so very blessed in my life. I know things are getting hard for me. Every time I think about whats going on in my life, I get a headache. But I know things will work out soon. And if it doesn't, please bury me 8 feet under. I can't handle one more thing, or I will explode. |
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| I hate writing in this thing |
[Sep. 6th, 2005|11:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  shitty | ] |
So i haven't writen in forever. Shock.
I've been home to a rough start. Finances, home life, parents. There are too many things that have happened that physically are starting to kill me. I am moving out. When? I do not know. But it will be soon enough. I'm applying to job, i'm working still at Hockinson, getting my program once again started. I don't think I can afford winterguard because of money. I'm going to have to work two jobs to pay for tour this summer, but if I start now, I will be fine. (don't worry leighann).
I lost my two main support systems. Eddie left for allentown. Erica is leaving thursday for Bellingham. I feel like I have no one left here that is a part of my life like they were for me. I ended something that could make me grow, or hold me back. I'm growing. I'm growing and there is nothing to do about it. You can't live on a taco bell job. You can't be successful with a high school education. I know these things, and I wish people could view my thoughts through my eyes. I don't even know what i'm trying to say right now. I thought things could be so clear, but never are. I hate coming back to the summer, because no matter how hard you try not to change, things are always different. Erica and I lost something we've had for now 7 years. We lost the best friendship I could ever imagine. We went to the river today, and had nothing to say. Sometimes that silence is an ok thing, but I couldn't even think about what to say. Before I left for the summer, we were attached to the hip. We cried when I left. I was her everything. She was my biggest support. And now I come home, hardly even wanting to hang out with her. She is still the most beautiful person I know. It's just.. we lost that thing. Maybe it's my fault, maybe people just grow apart so quickly these days, that you could wake up in the morning and have a total different life.
Everyone wants to be happy. But what happens if your life, and the people in it, don't. |
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| Crossmen.... FUCK YEA |
[Aug. 20th, 2005|01:15 am] |
:) I stole that leighann
anyways... got back home today. My family flew out to Boston to watch finals, and we spent a couple of days in New York city which was pretty cool. Anyway, i know I could write a book about this summer... but only my x-men family really need to knw what happened all season. I had the best summer of my life, which lead to saying the hardest goodbyes. But like I was reminded, it'll feel like tomorrow when i see them all next. This summer went by too fast. |
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| ... BONES... |
[May. 20th, 2005|04:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | listening to the birds outside | ] |
Ok so, no joke. It's 4:39 AM. I haven't gotten to sleep. About half an hour ago I decided I should.. but I am WAY too excited. I haven't felt this way since the night before I left fr tur last summer. But that feeling was more worry and being scared and sad. I am leaving for tour in 18 days. Come June 9th, i'm going to be with the best friends and people I could ask for. I keep thinking of saying goodbye to my parents, and I know that I need to start hanging out with them more. I don't want to leave crying and boo whooing abut shit. I'm WAY too excited. This is the frist summer where I am 100% confident and ready to go. I want to know my drill, I want to knw if it's any good. I want to be packed, and on a plane getting ready for Newark. Jesus Christ. I'm so happy right now. I finally get to be with BONES! With my friends! I knew last summer I was an x-men! Just fuckin KNEW it! And now..i'm back!
Today I'm going tour shopping with erica. I got my pay check, and it was over 400 bucks. I need to be smart this time and ONLY spend it on tour. Nothining else.
God! This summer is going to be great. I'll know all the peple, and the staff. So many people are calling me, waiting to know when i'm coming. I'll get to see Eddie SO much! Jon Gavin, Morgan, Daeryck. SO many people! YES Morgan! I'm going to be most proud of her <3! Cant wait for her to see Crossmen!
I keep going over and over lists of the things I need. How many shrts do I have? How many bras and tank tops!? God! SO much! Yet I still have time.. I'm getting SO wired. So excited! I can't wait.
Leighann, let me know if you can get me a bus box, will you!? I have SO MUCH TO DO!! BAAHAHAHAH!! And I'm seriously counting down the days until tour. This is going to be the best summer yet. I promise you all this!!!! |
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| Ya.. i would be wouldn't i? |
[May. 18th, 2005|01:30 am] |
Class Clown
You are 42% Rational, 85% Extroverted, 71% Brutal, and 100% Arrogant. |
You are the Class Clown. This means you walk down the center of the classroom with books on your head, while the teacher stares on in...
Shit, I really need to stop looking at these pictures while I'm typing.
Anyway, I MEANT to say that you are the Class Clown, and this means that you are extroverted, mean, and arrogant. You are not very rational, so you gravitate towards things that produce feelings or emotions over thoughts (like fart jokes or spitballs, for instance). You are also an extrovert and rather full of yourself, so of course you want constant attention for yourself and think you are somehow better than others. You can also be a bit mean-spirited, and like a class clown you wouldn't hesitate to make a joke at someone else's expense, no matter how terrible it would make them feel. So your personality defects are that you have to be the center of attention, that you don't care about others, and that you are rather irrational and motivated by intuitions. Now stop walking around with those books on your head and sit down this instant!
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Robot.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Schoolyard Bully, the Smartass, and the Brute.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 57% on Rationality |
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You scored higher than 77% on Extroversion |
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You scored higher than 85% on Brutality |
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You scored higher than 99% on Arrogance |
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| Picture time with Erica!!!! |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|05:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | talking with my buddy | ] |
This has been THE best day.
Loads of pictures of me and Erica taking a walk today. We talked about everything. I really needed her today, and she's always there for me to count on. I am so blessed to have her in my life, and for the past 6 years.
JOSH CALLED! lol bahahaha. He asked for my number at work last night, and texted me today.He wants to hang out soon. Which would be fun. He's a nice guy, it'll be good to have him around work.
ANYWAY.. pictures. :)
( we look SO ugly in these pictures... FYI ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|09:53 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | talking to boys .. bahahah.. but only one i want to talk to! | ] |
I'm doing really good I think.
Went out to lunch with David yesterday. He was the one that called, and wanted to get together. It was fine.. we just talked about drum corps and relationships we have. Nothing really big. There is SO much I wanted to talk to him about. But.. baby steps I guess. We have to start just as friends.. or, i guess aquantences? I don't know. It was fine though. I expected him to be his normal self. But he hardly looked at me the entire time. Like.. he didn't want to make eye contact. lol. I really think he was nervous.
I want to go to the OC camp this weekend. .. .. but i don't know if Eddie still wants to.. r even still wants to hang out with me.. I MISS YOU EDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( Be my friend again!!! Puh puh puh PLEASE
I hung out with Chris Edmonds lst night. Went to his house, and of course he HAD to drive my car. He looks good in it, I think he should drive it more often. He raced a metro cop.. freaked the hell out of me.. lol.. he's such a shitty driver with stuart. We counted our money to see if we could get to Mexico, but.. not enough. Drove to the 24 hour starbucks and he bought me a frappacino..made fun of the ugly girls that worked there. lol. Went to his house, watched a movie. It was fun. He's a good guy. We are going to see the House of Wax, when it comes out, so we are going on a date.. lol.
Working more and more. I don't know what i'm going to do when i have to leave for tur. I'll miss it tons. I want t make sure I still have a job when i get back. LOL.. why do people, guys, all of the sudden want to be my room mate? Would I really be a good roomie?? So that's that.. silly mr. edmonds.. roomie with me? That would be fun.
I really want to start working out more fr tour. Erica and I have been to the gym a couple of times this week. We are going to start going to classes during the week.
I guess that's really it.. why do i even try updating? |
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| Camera whore |
[Apr. 25th, 2005|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Saves the day | ] |
Darryl said he didn't like my pictures on my myspace.. so i decided to take new ones.. but.. i'm not very good at taking pictures of myself
story of the year is hot
( as you can see... ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|11:26 pm] |
I don't know why I'm feeling so many things right now. Nothing really bad, but just stuff.
I found out I have to work saturday night, which kind of sucks because the New Era banquent is saturday night, but Katie needs that day off, so i'm happy to work I guess.
Both Eddie and Jon Gavin are leaving tomorrow. Eddie is going to a cadets camp, i'll see him next week. Jon Gavin is leaving for Madison... i guess I'll see him in San Antonio?
Ericas birthday is tomorrow. I'm going to eat breakfest with her in the morning, and I have just have a lot of stuff to do.
I guess this isn't really important to talk about.
Whatever |
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| Whats so funny?? Whats so damn funny?...... I hate you guys |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|11:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Britney spears- ... baby one more time | ] |
Alright, well pretty interesting day. My title is that because Darryl said that one too many times to me and Mury just cause we were laughng behind his back. First off I must congratulate Mrs Federline.. she is really having a baby. Don't believe it? Check the website.It was the first thing I woke up to.. Eddies text message, telling me.. yippe!! Ok, here is it.. the best conversation in life
Our conversation....
By Mary Kuzmovich and Stephanie Hill
asilvercherri: i'm about to leave for darryls
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: cool
marychristmas666: are you gonna stop here?
marychristmas666: are you driving darryl?
asilvercherri: hell yes girl!!
asilvercherri: ya i'm driving
marychristmas666: yay!!! thanks
marychristmas666: ha! he has to stop then!
marychristmas666: haha
asilvercherri: yup! :-D
marychristmas666: hes a dumb shit
marychristmas666: just kidding
marychristmas666: ok
asilvercherri: no kidding...
marychristmas666: cool
asilvercherri: but he is.
asilvercherri: anyway..
marychristmas666: call when youget close
asilvercherri: i gtg..
marychristmas666: yah he is
marychristmas666: ok
asilvercherri: will do! :-)
marychristmas666: bye
marychristmas666: that was fast
marychristmas666: conversation
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: bye
asilvercherri: LOL
asilvercherri: :-)
asilvercherri: <3
asilvercherri: love
asilvercherri: yay
asilvercherri: for love
marychristmas666: lots of little sounds
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: bye
marychristmas666: lobe
asilvercherri: bleep
marychristmas666: ve
asilvercherri: bleep
asilvercherri: bleep
marychristmas666: that was ugly
asilvercherri: LOL
marychristmas666: like ear lobe
marychristmas666: ok
asilvercherri: i like ear lobes
marychristmas666: bye
marychristmas666: really?
asilvercherri: i'm glad i have them
marychristmas666: the word i guess
marychristmas666: is dumb
marychristmas666: lobe
asilvercherri: ya cause i like bling bling earring
marychristmas666: its ugl
asilvercherri: ya
asilvercherri: it is
marychristmas666: yah
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: ugl
asilvercherri: y
marychristmas666: dude
asilvercherri: ?
asilvercherri: like that
marychristmas666: too
marychristmas666: many
marychristmas666: bleeps
marychristmas666: ok
asilvercherri: bleep
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: bye
marychristmas666: come
marychristmas666: now
marychristmas666: dude
asilvercherri: oj
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: ok
asilvercherri: oh
asilvercherri: ok
asilvercherri: bye
marychristmas666: k
asilvercherri: bye
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: bye
marychristmas666: bye
marychristmas666: fun
marychristmas666: i
asilvercherri: like nsync...
marychristmas666: like the bleeps
marychristmas666: n ow
asilvercherri: bye bye bye
marychristmas666: yup
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: bye
marychristmas666: yah!
marychristmas666: baby
marychristmas666: bye bye bye
marychristmas666: ok
asilvercherri: i'm saving this conversation
asilvercherri: by
asilvercherri: bye
asilvercherri: byeeee
asilvercherri: with the eees
asilvercherri: bye
marychristmas666: bye
marychristmas666: something happened
asilvercherri: what?
asilvercherri: jesus showed up?
marychristmas666: it said the last message couldnt send
asilvercherri: really
asilvercherri: that sucks
marychristmas666: cuz i was over hte rate limit
marychristmas666: ??
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: lol
asilvercherri: maybe
marychristmas666: come
marychristmas666: maybe
marychristmas666: too fast
asilvercherri: i'm really going to go now
marychristmas666: isnt good
asilvercherri: k?
marychristmas666: ok
marychristmas666: bye
asilvercherri: bye
Yes, i love you girl. Anyway, went out with Darryl and Mury tonight.. here are SOME pix
( Our Green Chucks ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|11:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | BAHAHAHAHAAH | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Where is your boy tonight= Fall out boy | ] |
[ Describe Your ]
x. [Wallet] Hot pink and black Duct tape wallet baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It fits in my pocket which is really cool.. cause most of the time i HATE purses. But ya, Justin bought it for me at the saturday market :) that was fun..
x. [Toothbrush]umm... it has white and rey brissles... and a grey handle.. I once got mad at my sister, and was going to take her tooth brush and scrub the toilet with it.. but after I did.. i realized i grabbed the wrong tooth brush..
x. [Hairbrush]Purple and black.. and it's really cushiony.. so when i brush my hair.. it's like brushing the air... yes.. the air.. i wonder what air looks like. Does it have a color.. or is it invisible like my lobster
x. [Jewellery Worn Daily] The ring Erica bought me for Christmas junior year.. and NO it's not a promise ring!!!
x. [Blanket] my comforter is black on one side, and white on the other, and it makes me really happy when it's clean and smells like laundry because i like doing laundry, and it reminds me of that.
x. [Facewash] soap??..
x. [Coffee Cup] well i would lie and say that it was this really modern shaped cup my mom bought me for valentines day, and it was pink with hearts, and it was hand painted so it's not like the sterotypical hearts that are perfect shaped. I mean, hearts aren't even like <3.. they are circular, so I don't understand how a heart would look like <3.. who decided to make it like that?.. I want to see a real heart. I watched this medical show tonight and it was pretty cool because they were havesting organs, and it made me think about when i die, i want to give my organs away. But not my skin or eyes. I would like those.. but would that be selfish? cause skin helps burned victims.. and i'm dead.. so i'm really not using it.. maybe i will be cremated.. or someting.. idk
x. [Sunglasses]umm.. well.. everytime i have a favorite pair of glasses... they tend to break.. but i REALLY like the news one i just bought. They are HUGE and SOOOO cool.. oh yes.. but. um... i doubt they were my favorite in life
x. [Underwear]boy shorts for victorias secret.. my FAVORITE pair is my green and yellow and blue ones.. man i like those.
x. [Shoes] My green converse
x. [Favourite Shirt] good question.. hmm.. let me think.. I like my canada jersey.. that's actually pretty hot.. i NEVER wear it though, but it's soo cute. ANd I should. Cause I bought it on the band trip to Canada, and evern though the trip kinda sucked and was boring, i really liked the shirt.. I really am fond of my Yellowcard band t-shirt cause it brings back good memories.. or my britney spears tour tank top. umm... It's not a shirt.. but i wear my green and yellow A&E jacket ALL of the time.. cause i like the color.. i have two closets.. so it would be kinda hard for me to pick my FAVORITE shirt
x. [Favourite Pants] my blue A7E sweatpants.. but they are starting to become my painting pants.. so I dont like that.. but I really like a&e jeans.. i have one pair, but they are starting to rip in the crotch area, so that sucks..
x. [CD In Stereo Right Now] The Atticus cd i just bought.. fucking rocks.. I thoguht for a while that I was slowing down on the good music.. that erica was actually making me start liking.. country... but i fixed that with a good punk mix..
x. [Tattoos] YUP!!!!!!!!!! LOVE them
x. [Piercings] nose, industrial, and two earrings in each ear
x. [What You Are Wearing Now] a pink and white victorias secret tank top, and pink shorts... i like to match when i go to bed sometimes..
x. [Hair] MARY ILL CUT YOUR HAIR!!... umm.. it's brown.. but wet right now.. cause i got out of the shower.. it's not like dripping wet, but it's pretty moist.. like brownies
[ When was the last time you ... ]
x. [Smiled] well.. it wasn't today for sure.. i've been by myself all day :/
x. [Laughed] idk.. telling darryl to suck many things last night.. BAHAHAHAAHAHA
x. [Cried] last night
x. [Bought] a smoothie at bugerville
x. [Danced] last night at a concert
x. [Were Sarcastic] probably with my mom.. or darryl.. poor old man gets too much shit from me..
x. [Had A Nightmare] idk
x. [Last Book You Read] eh.. like a month ago :(
x. [Last Movie You Saw] a couple of days ago.. but i don't remember what it was
x. [Last Thing You Had To Eat] cereal for dinner.. cause again.. i was home a lone today.. and i guess tonight as well.. :(
[ Body ]
x. [What Do You Like Most About Your Body] well.. BEFORE I got fat.. i liked my stomach.. umm... i like my hair, and my eyes, and my teeth, and my ear are good i guess.. i like my feet, and my left thumb nail... no joke...
x. [And Least?] My ass
x. [How Many Fillings Do You Have] NONE!!! I am thanksful for pretty teeth!
x. [Do You Think You Are Good-Looking] heck yes!
x. [Do Other People Often Tell You That You’re Good-Looking] Heck yes again!!!!!!!!!
x. [Do You Look Like Any Celebrities] I guess i could look like britney at times.. i can either be wayyyyyyyy diva looking when i try... no one has really seen it full out ;).. or i could be trashy. .. i don't know who i look like tho
[ Fashion ]
x. [Do You Wear A Watch] Nope
x. [How Many Coats And Jackets Do You Own] umm... 15+
x. [Favorite Pants Color] faded jeans
x. [Most Expensive Item Of Clothing]maybe my ugg boots.. 184 bucks.. but then again.. my leather jacket could be about the same, or a little more.. my lettermens jacket was 300, but i don't wear that..
x. [Describe Your Style In One Word] whatever i feel like
[ Your Friends ]
x. [Do Your Friends Know You] Not really...
x. [Are There Traits In You That Are Universally Liked?] I know i tell it like it is, i'm a deep person when I want to be, and stupid all of the other times.. idk.. i'm just a girl
x. [How Many People Do You Tell Everything To] Eddie
[ Music;Television;Books ]
x. [Favourite Band Ever] Blink 182
x. [Type of Music Most Listened To] punk
x. [Type Never Listened To] Country, rap
x. [Favourite Book?] Million little pieces
[ General Questions ]
x. [Sunny or Rainy Day] sunny.. cause i'm sick of all this damn rain.
x. [Do You Consider Yourself Lucky] sometimes.. when things are going right for me.. but don't we all?
x. [Do You Feel Pity For People Who Commit Suicide] yes
x. [Choose One Word To Describe How You Most Often Feel] i'm ok
x. [Do You Own Plaid Clothing] nope! ONLY though, if I ran a sound booth for a cool band and was behind the stage working everything out and being important
x. [Is There More Than One Zipper On Your Pants]nope
x. [Do You Own Braces] No
x. [Does Your Hairstyle Exceed A Height Of Three Inches] Ya man.. i'm going to shave the sides next week though.. it'll be killer
x. [Would You Classify Your Hair As A Deadly Weapon] yup! cause it'll kill you with jealousy.. muahahahaha...
x. [Do You Have A Favorite Brand Of Hair Dye] umm.. no.. cause i get it professionaly done
x. [Do You Own A Bandana] yes
x. [Are You Amused By Safety Pins] YES
x. [Have You Ever Used Duct Tape As A Sewing Substitute] YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
x. [Do You Like Candles] Yup
x. [Do You Believe In Love]well.. yes
x. [What Do You Want Done With Your Body When You Die] put me in my car, and drop me in the ocean
x. [What Are You Gonna Do When You Get Older] teach colorguard?.. have a rich husband?.. who the hell knows
x. [How Many Songs Do You Have On Your Computer] couple hundred
x. [What Band Are You Listening To] Fall out boy
x. [Look Out Your Window... Tell Me What You See] my neighbors backyard
x. [If You Could Have Any Animal For A Pet] FERRETS!!!!!!
x. [What Is The Longest You Ever Stayed Up] a day and a half
[ Habits; Beliefs ]
x. [Are You Disgruntled] Not really
x. [Are You An Anarchist?] not really
x. [Do You Smoke Cigarettes?]yes
x. [Are You A Vegetarian?] no
x. [Do You Think Meat Is Murder?] nope
x. [Have You Ever Slept In An Alley Or Park] Nope...how about a bath tub??
x. [Do You Wash Your Hair Less Than Once A Week] nope
x. [Have You Ever Gone A Week Without A Shower?] nope
[ About Me]
x. [Age] 18
x. [Birthday] Sep. 20
x. [Sign] Virgo
x. [Location] Vancouver WA
x. [Status] single
x. [Natural Hair Colour] i don't remember...
x. [Current Hair Colour] brown
x. [Eye Colour]brown
x. [Height] 5'10 ish?
x. [Shoe size] 9-91/2
x. [Parents] mom and dad
x. [Siblings] yes.. but i pretend i have none
x. [Live With] parents
[ Favourites ]
x. [Number] 47!
x. [Color] green, red
x. [Day] friday and wednesday
x. [Month] aug.
x. [Song] I have WAY too many
x. [Movie] Bridget jones diary
x. [Food] starbucks, pizza, subway
x. [Season] fall
x. [Class] english
x. [Teacher]Tad Thompson
x. [Drink] mikes hard, vodka and cranberry juice, carmel macchiato, peppermint mocha, black forest mochas
x. [Veggie] i just really like lettuce
x. [Television Show] Medium, CSI, Despearate housewives
x. [Radio] 94.7 NRK
x. [Store] AMerican Eagle
x. [Word] Pretty much...
x. [Animal] Ferrets
x. [Flower] Sunflowers |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|09:32 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | When the night feels my song- bedouin soundclash | ] |
I want a friend
I want supportive parents
I want to dance
I want to smoke
I want a drink
I want to sleep out in the grass
I want to sit in the shower
I want someone to love me
I want someone to stay
I want to hug Patrick
I want to cry to Erica
I want to beat up Jeff for hurting Erica
I want to smash certain people apart
I want to ride a roller coaster
I want to find a great love
I want to go to drum corps
I want to fly
I want to sing
I want to sleep in the mall on those display beds
I want to buy a house
Or just move out first
I want to punch my mormon neighbors
I want to meet Britney Spears
I want to be sung to
I want a song writen about me
I want to be kissed
So, not in the mood right now. My mom is bitching at me because whenever she tries to talk to me.. i'm just not feeling a deep conversation with her. I'm getting together with Darryl friday, and that will let me get some things off my chest. I'm pissed. I'm mad about a lot of things. I need my friends. I need to drive, I need the sun,. I need a lot of things. There are just too many things inside my head that no one will understand. I wish I had a big stuffed doll so I could pretend it was real, and talk to it. Maybe then I would finally feel comfort in my life and be able to sleep easier tonight. Cheals is now an aunt. I'm so happy for her sister. Congrats love!
I remember when Erica and I were younger we were planning on going to the prom with out dates together, get married together, have babies at the same time.. it was perfect. She was going to be my best friend, my neighbor, god just everything. She's leaving in September for Bellingham. Man I want to kill Jeff. She cried today. I saw it. And for the first time I didn't know what to do. What are you suppose to do when the one person you love and have loved for so long, starts to cry. I would do anything for her.. I just don't know what that anything is.
It's amazing how when I was in highschool my drama and anger was because of boys, clothes, and what color is right for my hair.. now it's so much more. Things that are actually important to me. I was waiting for my life to start moving up.. and it did for a while. Everything when it comes to school, corps, those things are going fine. But now it's slowly going back to the way things were. I need to forget. Eddie told me I don't have a problem with church, i have a problem with God. Maybe him and I will go to church together this weekend. That may be good.
please show me how to fight this
God has a master plan.... and I know.... I'm in His demand.... so please save me.
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| Kodak moment |
[Apr. 3rd, 2005|08:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mixed Cd I'm making for Jon Gavin :) | ] |
VERY good day today! Kinda sad cause it was our real end of New Era for this year.. but I took some pictures...
( YAY for friends ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|01:52 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Eh.. nothing really | ] |
Well, I don't know why, but i guess this picture is hot? .. lol.. DAMNIT It's me people! Isn't this what I look like everyday!? GAH
Anyway, good good night. Got to hang out with my best friend. Job Applications with Erica, watched a movie, ate some ice cream... looking at apartments right now.. tehehehe
OH and i remembered that I had a picture of something on my camera.. stupid.. yes.. BUT.. it was from Starbucks.. and the guy who gave me it tried to make the plate all pretty for me.. and i was happy.. so i took a picture... Erica would have liked eating this... lol
( BORED!!!!!!!!! ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|09:59 pm] |
I WANT: to go away
I HAVE: a beautiful car
I WISH: that vacations would last longer
I HATE: clowns
I MISS: Kendra
I FEAR: that people talk shit about me too much
I HEAR: my computer
I SEARCH: for god
I WONDER: if he is real
I REGRET: not taking what I could have had
I LOVE: .... good question
I AM NOT: ignorant
I DANCE: to be free
I SING: to make my voice go numb
I CRY: in the bath tub
I AM NOT ALWAYS: happy
I NEED: a vacation...
I SHOULD: be content
x. father thinks i am: getting far in life
x. mother thinks i am: not getting far enough
x. three things you are often complimented for: dance, my laugh, my smile
x. you get embarrassed when: i can't do something right
x. makes you happy: the beach
x. upsets you: friends
x. you keep a diary: no
x. you like to cook: tacos
x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: yep
x. you believe in love: ask me once i've found it...
who is...
the weirdest person you know: Vicki
the loudest Person you know: Patrick
the person that knows the most about you: Erica
the last image/thought when you go to sleep: ....
Do you...
take a shower everyday: yes
have a crush: yes
need to tell someone something: yes
think you were ever loved by someone: idk
want to get married: yes
get along with your parents: yes
SIGN: virgo
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: brown
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: BROWN
EYE COLOR: ... brown
BIRTHPLACE: Long Beach, CA
favorites...
COLOR: lime green
DAY: wednesday
MONTH: September
SEASON: Fall
SPORT: winterguard?
would you ever..
1. Eat a bug? for a dare.. or if i was drunk enough
2. Bungee jump? depends....
3. Hang glide? possibly
4. Kill someone? never
5. Have sex with someone of the same sex? no
6. Parachute from a plane? YES
7. Walk on hot coals? no
8. Go out with someone for their looks? yes
9. For their reputation? yes
10. Be a vegetarian? yes
11. Wear plaid with stripes? sure
12. Sing karaoke? yes!
13. Shoplift? no
14. Run a red light? many times...
15. Star in a porn video? umm..
16. Dye your hair blue? no
17. Be on Survivor? no
18. Wear makeup in public? uhhh.. yes
19. NOT wear makeup in public? ditto
20. Cheat on a test? eh.. that's kinda 8th greader thing to do
21. Make someone cry?done it
23. Kick a baby? no
24. Date someone more than ten years older than you? yes
25. Stay up all through the night? done it
26. Drink straight espresso? done it
27. Betray a friend? done it
28. Go for a friends sibling? ...done it
29. Run away? yes
30. Go out w/ someone you hardly knew? yes
31. Be on Jerry Springer? no
32. Give an ex a 2nd chance? depends on the ex....
33. Date a friend? yes
34. Kidnap your friends kid? no
35. Go on a blind date? yes
36. Be on the Bachelor/Bachelorette? no
37. Jump off a cliff? into water....? yes |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|08:40 am] |
I am not excited for this day. Music final.. Psychology test.. and English papers due. I did my english papers.. kinda sorta know stuff for music.. nothing at all for psychology. All I want to do is sleep. I have to get shit for the garage sale after class, and I have rehearsal tonight... until late. I'm tired.. I'm lazy.. I am seriously having a problem getting up... and I hope today doesn't suck :( |
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| Its been one of THOSE weeks |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|11:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fuckin GREAT | ] |
Alright, well.. .. got paid this week.. on tuesday actually. And I will NOT write home much I got.. because its not lady like to say those tyhpes of things. Just know.. when I got it.. my dad told me to go shopping. So, I washed Stuart, and went to fill him up with gas. When I went inside the gas station to get something to drink, i saw Arizona iced tea.. and not just the kind in the glass bottles... but the actual full sized CANS!!! I couldn't believe it! A gas station!? With MY fav. tea!? It's not every day that a cute girl finds her favorite tea in her favorite can. .. anyway, moving on..
It was SUCH a sunny day too! Ah man.. soo nice. I went to the mall went to Nordys and got diva sunglasses for 10 bucks and got a shirt I wanted at American Eagle
 Instead it's light blue with white writing that says.. FREE.. free of what? i haven't decided.. but I liked it. I also got a pair of big rhinestone bling bling earrings. I thought of Mary when I bought them. .. So I wanted to get some new nose rings, and I went to this store in the mall, and the guy there thought I was really cute.. so he gave me 3 rings for 5 bucks. Yes.. he even said i'll cut you a deal cause you are really cute. It was cute.. in a stalkerish way.. but hey, I got a sale huh!? AND THEN.. I went to starbucks, to finish it off, and ordered a grande iced non fat carmel macchiato....well.. they charged me for a grande.. and gave me a venti.. SCORE!
Yesterday in psychology we watched a movie on different types of dissorders.. I learned a lot about manic episodes.. which I think I have.. I talked after class to my prof. about it.. and he says I could always get it checked out. But it was a good movie. And I got to see a part of the movei Bolwing for Columbine. I'm so stupid and didn't know Mike Moore made that film. It was before the 9/11 movie he made, so I wouldn't have thought about watching it. But I think I want to rent it when I get back home. I LOVE documentaries like those. I don't know why. I've watched so many of his movies so many times. TODAY.. I got my hair done.. hence the picture of ashlee simpson up there.. cause this is the color of my hair!! YES! Kristen did such a great job. She was stunned herself that it turned out perfect.. not the job that she did.. but the color for me. I met Erica at Longs Drugs, cause she was there with her mom.. and I walked in the asile where she was standing.. she looked at me, and then looked away, and then realized it was me. lol! It was cute. She loved it. And I hung out with Eddie in his new car, which was pretty diva. .. and had pizza tonight.. it was such a diva weekend. Tomorrow, Erica and I are hopefully going to get pierced.. SHIBBY!.. I really want to get another tattoo.. but I shouldn't when I'll be in Fresno all weekend. So i'm going to get an industrial piercing. It'll be hot. I know it's stupid to do that before this weekend.. but I don't care if it hurts when I sleep. God I'm excited. What a great week!!
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| YES!!! |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|01:54 pm] |
Yes Matt! I WILL keep my plan after all! Rook out in BD baby!!
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mrsfederline's journal
